5th Angel-versity (Jan.14,2008)  / Jennifer (mother)

We Thought of You Today
We thought of you today,
But that is noting new
We thought of you yesterday
And will tomorrow, too.

We think of you in silence
And make no outward show.
For what it meant to lose you
Only those who love you know

Remembering you is easy,
We do it everyday.
It's the heartache of losing you
That will never go away.

 

The Mask by Gwen Flowers
It doesn’t fit me very well
But it matters not, you see.
Because people do not want
To see the real me.
It’s much to painful for them
So they avert their eyes.
Their platitudes are only words
That I’ve come to despise.
They can’t bear to confront it
They don’t know what to say.
They think if they ignore it
The pain will go away.
But I cannot ignore it
It is to deep and real.
And those who’ve never lived it
Just don’t know how I feel
No one wants to face it
When a baby dies.
They quickly try to hush
A grieving mother’s cries.
They say I should be moving on
They don’t know what they ask
So, to spare their feelings
I put on the mask.

Thoughts For the Child I Lost
unknown

There might come a day sometime in the future
When I don't think about you constantly,
Wonder what you would have looked like,
What color your hair would have been,
And how your smile might have looked.
There might come a day sometime in the future
When I won't wonder what I did wrong.
When I won't blame myself.
When the sharp blade of pain will become dull.
When I can accept this as meant to be.
There might come a day sometime in the future
When I carry another child
And though I will love him beyond measure
And though I will hold him a little tighter,
And though he will be my child,
He won't be you.
There might come a day sometime in the future
When I am happy again.
When I can let go.
When I can look at a baby without aching for you.
But it won't be today,
because today is the day I was supposed to hold you in my arms,
But you are safe in jesus arms instead...

 

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mommys love goes with you  / Jennifer (Mother)
I miss us more than words can say. 
I miss us more than I could never imagine. 
I miss you mostly during my time of need. 
I miss you always and always means forever. 


Know that i always will Love you my angel babies!


Jayden ~ july 28/07
T.J ~ january 14/03 Close

Sorry for the loss of your precious little boy  / Mylene Roberge (mommy to angel Sean )
I am sorry for the loss of your precious little boy, Ted.  No matter how much time passes the pain never seems to go away.  I know I've also lost a little boy, Sean.  Sending you a HUGE hug, may our boys be playing joyfully in heaven together.

Ted and Sean heavenly little Canadian buddies,


Mylène (Mel)
Maman (Sean 11-09-04 / 07-08-05)
http://sean-lockhart.memory-of.com/about.aspx &
Scott -Rainbow baby, born Dec 20th, 2006
"Some people only dream of angels, I held one in my arms" Close

in memory of the 4th anniversity of your due date  / Jen &. Kris ((mommy & daddy ) )
MY LETTER TO HEAVEN

I would like to send a letter to heaven
and address it to the one I love.
My child has left this world,
to be with the Lord above.

I would tell him that I love him,
and that I miss his loving touch.
I would say we’re lost without him
and we miss him - - oh so much.

I would ask if he could visit,
if we promised not to cry.
Maybe one more time to see him
We forgot to say "Good-bye."

We will try to control our emotions
we truly feel we could.
So please - - we need a visit.
We promise we'll be good.

It is so hard, we miss him.
Oh Lord, this feeling is the worst.
We know you gave him to us,
yes, we know you had him first.

But you called him prematurely,
I'm sorry I question your will.
I know you have your reasons
but Lord - - I miss him still.

If you'd only make an exception
please consider what we plea.
It is so hard accepting that our son
- - We will never see.

Oh baby I write you this letter
with all the love there is to be had.
Because it's just not me who's hurting
there's your dad too.

We need so much to see you,
then we'll try to let you rest.
But if not in this world, baby,
then we'll see you in the next.

So I’m sending a letter to heaven,
and pray you hear my plea.
But if the answer is not what I’m asking --
Lord come and rescue me!
(unknown author) Close

My Son In Heaven  / Jenn (Mother)
My Son In Heaven
Lord hold me tight and guide my way
give me the strength to face each day
my only son now dwells with you
but life goes on I must get through

my son would not want me to grieve
he knew that it was time to leave
he fought the good fight he won the race
and now he’s in a better place

though i am feeling such despair
I know with you he’s in good care
I miss him so and he’s barley gone
but I know he’s there beside your throne

you were his savior and dearest friend
to you he was faithful until the end
he touched so many lives down here
but he’s with you and has no fear

I know you gave him a special role
the day that he crossed your threshold

he may be greeting those entering your gates
or tending your heavenly garden estates

whatever you've assigned him to do
I promise he'll do a good job for you

he made us proud though he did not get a chance at life
for I am his parent, proud as the colors red and white

I know you understood my loss
for your only son died on a cross
he paid the price so we could be free
and all that believed would dwell with thee

farewell, my son, at last you're there
encircled by gods love and care
one day I’ll see your face once more
when you meet me there at heavens door.
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See Me Through My Tears  / Jennifer (Mother)

See Me Through My Tears  (Writen by Rachel)
You asked, "How are you doing?"

As I told you, tears came to my eyes...and you looked away and quickly began to talk again.

All the attention you had given me had drained away.

"How am I doing?" I do better when people listen, though I may shed a tear or two.

This pain is indescribable.

If you've never known it, you cannot fully understand. Yet I need you.

When you look away, I am again alone with it.

Your attention means more than you can ever know.

Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know! They're nature's way of helping me to heal.

They relieve some of the stress of sadness ....but you are wrong.

The memory of my son’s death will always be with me, Only a thought away.

My tears make my pain more visible to you, but you did not give me the pain...it was already there.

When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless, Not knowing what to do?

You are not helpless, And you don't need to do a thing but be there.

When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow, you've helped me

You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need.

Be patient...do not fear.

Listening with your heart to "how I am doing" relieves the pain for when the tears can freely come and go, I feel lighter.

Talking to you releases what I've wanted to say aloud, clearing space for a touch of joy in my life.

I'll cry for a minute or two... and then I'll wipe my eyes and sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later.

When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight, my chest aches, my stomach knots...

because I'm trying to protect YOU from my tears.

Then we both hurt ME, because my pain is held inside, a shield against our closeness and YOU, because suddenly we are distant.

So please, take my hand and see me through my tears... then we can be close again.

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Love from me  / Vanessa Unrau (High School friend of Jenn's )
I know that there's nothing that I can say to make you feel better, but I can assure you that my mom is looking out for your little TJ up in heaven with her baby boy Justin Beau who left her 22 years ago. I know you will never forget TJ, cuz my mom talked about her baby boy a lot, even in her final days, but I know that she is there now and I know that she loves your little boy just as much as her own. You two had a special bond and I have a feeling like she would want me to say hi for her. 

Love always
Vanessa and Julia Close

The candle i light for you  / Jenn Peters (Mother)

I light a candle in memory of my son.
I try and let the soft glow of the flame fill my heart with warmth and love.
I try to allow the soothing fragrance to bring me comfort and peace.
But as soon as I close my eyes and remember you, I can’t help but cry…


You will Always be in my Heart TJ

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My sweet grandchild  / Kim (Grandmother)
I lay down dreaming of when we will meet,
But until then my sweet grandchild please know,
you will always be with us. 
xoxoxo grandmama K
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Miss you angel  / Daddy
Its 4 yrs today since you left us and its as hard as ever. I miss you so very much . Its weird cus i keep looking at the clock thinking this time 4 yrs ago i got the call from your mommy..... where has the time gone to. Your mommy is having a bad day today and is very quiet & upset, so I got a lot to keep me busy but all i can think of is you & your mommy. I use to think your Mommy was wrong about that “with time things DON’T get better”, but reality is that the pains still there and you just find different ways to cope and cover up the pain.
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Beautiful baby boy  / Rochelle (visitor)
I seen your address to this page on a myspace page. I thought I would stop in and say hi and light a candle. I too have a memorial site for my daughter Kailey Bowles. You have done a great job on this memorial for your son. He is a beautiful little guy. My heart goes out to you and your family. Close

I love you so much  / Amanda Unrau (jens friend )
I know how it feels to lose someone close... Although I'm sure it's so much tougher to lose a child, a part of you. If you need anything, anything at all do not hesitate to call. Or just call to say hello. We've drifted apart thses past few years and it's so unfortunate that these are the circumstances that we come across to bring us together again. I'm thinking of you always... you always knew how to make me and other people feel better, I wish there was some way I could do the same for you. Just remember that I love you, and will never forget you. You're a true friend.
Hugs and kisses
Amanda Close

my thoughts and prayers  / Kyla (friend of mom & dad )
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you today, and everyday.
I will hug my girls even harder tonight and thank the good Lord that He has left them with me yet a while longer.

xoxoxoxox Close

My favirote memory of you!  / T-MAN (Friend of kris )
i think my most favirote memory was when i started to learn how to play "i can fly" from spacejam, i rememer that cause that was the first time i felt you kicking...well it was more of a Kung Fu kick (must get that from your father)....

kris and jenn, may you be blessed and remember that one day i hope that you both will find peace!

TJ you will live within my heart FOREVER
 
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Kristie- January 2003  / Mommy
KRISTIE,
I miss him.
Why isn't he with me?
Wish he were here,
Or I was there,
Wherever that might be.

KRISTIE,
Where is he now?
My baby boy.
I never got to hear him cry.
Why is my baby forever silent?
Why did my son die?

KRISTIE,
Am I so terrible?
Did God not want him to be with me?
Did he think I didn't care?
Is he somewhere safe and sound?
Is there a Heaven?
Or is he no where?

KRISTIE,
When I remember him,
I see nothing worth what I endured.
Nothing that I'd wished for,
Nothing to love,
I close my eyes hoping,
Praying to see my T.J.,
Instead, I see BLACK. 

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Im so very sorry for your loss  / Rachel Rohrbach (moms friend )
I will keep you & your family in my prayers. Losing a child is the most awful thing to go through in life. Its been a trying time for me even 5 yrs after losing my daughter. But always know I am here for you when you need me. Close

I Miss You So Much-2006-  / Grandma K.
I Miss You So Much (Author - Alan G.)
People try to help me
And everyone's so kind,
But no matter what they say to me
I always seem to find.

I start to get upset again
They can see it in my face,
I wonder how they'd handle it
If they were in my place.

They look at me with sympathy
In a caring sort of way,
I thank them and attempt a smile
then as I walk away.

The tears start welling up again
Every time it's the same,
I simply fall to pieces
At the mention of your name.


I love you Teddy......

~Grandma K Close

Stillborn Still Loved -2005-  / Grandma

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Ask My Mom How She is  / Unknown
Ask My Mom How She is
(Author unknown)

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies
she never did before.
From now until she dies,
she'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
and because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how is she,
She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how is she,
she seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see
nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For Gods sake Mom, just tell the truth
just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how is she
she'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
we'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom
with all the lies you told!"
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GONE- Jan 14, 2003  / Jennifer (mother)
G O N E

Everything was beginning to seem so perfect.
Just me and the Baby.
Had a lifetime of dreams and plans
Wrapped up in this little one.

But, suddenly, all hope was gone.
One night it was clear,
No kicks, no heartbeat.
Nothing,
So Still.

Silent, he would come into the world
Taken without a sound.
Never to live on the outside
The doctors said
There was nothing I could have done.
There were no tell-tale signs
Of something wrong.
He seemed so healthy and strong one day
But, the next day, all hope slipped away,
Without warning, he was gone. Close